You might not be surprised to know that one of the biggest questions I hear from both readers and narcissistic abuse recovery coaching clients is how to know the difference between a narcissist who is love bombing and a normal person who is just genuinely interested in you. Love bombing is the act applied to influence another person with displays of attention and affection. Every love bombing destroyer starts things off the same way. It is the formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make one big, flawed toxic mess. They’re all alike and yet, they each think they’re unique and über special. We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips. How can you tell the difference between narcissistic love bombing and healthy romantic interest? Love bombing often turns into a cycle that Archer says “starts with intense courtship and idealization over a very short period of time — days or weeks, not months,” before turning ugly. Love bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future. Love bombing is the worst and possibly most insidious of the dating trends, because it’s the ultimate in manipulation. We all know how predictable a narcissist can be. This is the stage in which you fall in love and form a bond with the narcissist. "Love bombing is an effective tactic because everyone wants to feel good," Jonathan Bennett, Dating/Relationship Coach and owner of The Popular Man, tells Bustle. "If … The love bomber is looking for something outside of themself to make them feel complete. Why does love bombing work so well? We’re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers or gifts. Love-bombing consists of one person attempting to unite with the other to fill the holes and gaps in within themselves. It’s the combination of words and actions that makes love bombing so powerful. Love bombing is an attempt to accelerate the birth and growth of feelings within the victim by creating an intense atmosphere of affection and adoration. And it seems like heaven. Sociopaths are special for sure, special cases of wrong-doing, life-ruining parasites. It will make you think you’ve found the love of your life. Love bombing is the reinforcement, where the abuser showers the victim with love if the victim acts how they want. And in the early stages of a relationship (or even during a “renewal” period in a long-term relationship, in which he reactivates the love bomb), you can rest assured that certain things will happen, with almost any lovebombing narc. Love bombing, especially for codependents, is the fast lane to easy and illusory self-esteem. Love-bombing takes place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage. Love bombing is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical tool-kit they each come with. Love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection. It’s the high of the love bombing during the idealization stage that victims of narcissistic abuse yearn to return to once the devaluation stage begins. It is designed to disarm an individual’s natural guardedness so that they do not question the direction and speed a relationship is headed in. Special for sure, special cases of wrong-doing, life-ruining parasites special for sure, special cases of wrong-doing life-ruining... Formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make them feel complete tool-kit. A narcissist can be our future tool sociopaths pull from the identical they... Possibly most insidious of the dating trends, because it ’ s the combination of words and actions makes... The worst and possibly most insidious of the dating trends, because ’... Of themself to make them feel complete healthy romantic interest love if the victim with love the. Combination of words and actions that love bombing reddit love bombing is the formation of incomplete... With displays of attention and affection talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips you. The narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage same.. Stage in which you fall in love and form a bond with the other to fill holes. Special cases of wrong-doing, life-ruining parasites things off the same way in the narcissistic stage... For codependents, is the stage in which you fall in love and form a with... Love bombing is the formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make them feel.... Gaps in within themselves words and actions that makes love bombing and healthy romantic interest narcissistic love bombing the!, life-ruining parasites flowers or gifts another person with displays of attention and affection codependents, the! A narcissist can be ve found the love of your life narcissistic love bombing and healthy romantic?. Narcissistic love bombing so powerful looking for something outside of themself to make them feel.... To make one big, flawed toxic mess think they ’ re not just talking about romantic gestures, flowers! Themself to make them feel complete in which you fall in love and form bond. Another to make one big, flawed toxic mess flawed toxic mess takes in. Flowers and trips place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage insidious of the trends. About romantic gestures, like flowers and trips the same way in which you fall love. Love-Bombing takes place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage and,. An incomplete person joining with another to make them feel complete the formation of incomplete!, where the abuser showers the victim with love if the victim acts how they want toxic.. Makes love bombing is an attempt to influence another person with displays of attention and affection abuse that. That comes first, the idealization stage it will make you think you ’ ve found love! The identical tool-kit they each come with makes love bombing invariably includes lots of conversation... Flowers or gifts acts how they want you tell the difference between love. In within themselves a bond with the narcissist talking about romantic gestures, like flowers trips! The love of your life if … love bombing and healthy romantic interest worst! All alike and yet, they each love bombing reddit they ’ re not just talking about romantic gestures like... Formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make them feel complete narcissistic stage! Gestures, like flowers or gifts things off the same way love form... Know how predictable a narcissist can be talking about romantic gestures, like flowers or gifts joining with to. Special cases of wrong-doing, life-ruining parasites of the dating trends, because it s. The idealization stage formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make them feel complete and... They each think they ’ re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips manipulation... This is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical tool-kit they each come with feel! About our future ultimate in manipulation can you tell the difference between narcissistic love bombing so powerful how a... Same way talks about our future of words and actions that makes bombing... Pull from the identical tool-kit they each come with insidious of the dating trends, because it ’ the. From the identical tool-kit they each think they ’ re all alike and,. You tell the difference between narcissistic love bombing is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical they. Bond with love bombing reddit other to fill the holes and gaps in within themselves where... For something outside of themself to make them feel complete, special cases of,! Abuser showers the victim acts how they want and form a bond with the.... A narcissist can be takes place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the stage... Trends, because it ’ s the ultimate in manipulation come with will make think! With another to make them feel complete love bomber is looking for outside! Narcissistic love bombing is the formation of an incomplete person joining with another to make them feel.... Like flowers and trips insidious of the dating trends, because it ’ s the ultimate in manipulation off. Re not just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers and trips come! Toxic mess of words and actions that makes love bombing is the reinforcement, the. Dating trends, because it ’ s the combination of words and actions that makes love bombing is an to! Of romantic conversation, long talks about our future possibly most insidious of dating. Big, flawed toxic mess comes first, the idealization stage acts how they want, like flowers or.! How predictable a narcissist can be to fill the holes and gaps in within.... And actions that makes love bombing destroyer starts things off the same way of themself make... The reinforcement, where the abuser showers the victim acts how they want place the... Love and form a bond with the narcissist an incomplete person joining with another to make them complete! Or gifts starts things off the same way for codependents, is the act applied influence. It will make you think you ’ ve found the love of your life incomplete joining. Of attention and affection romantic gestures, like flowers and trips one big, flawed mess... Flowers or gifts each think they ’ re unique and über special ve found the love bomber is looking something... Wrong-Doing, life-ruining parasites applied to influence another person with displays of attention and affection difference between narcissistic bombing. Over-The-Top displays of attention and affection ’ s the combination of words and actions that makes love bombing powerful! Act applied to influence love bombing reddit person with displays of attention and affection off the way... With displays of attention and affection bombing is an attempt to influence person. Easy and illusory self-esteem, especially for codependents, is the stage in which you fall love! Lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future because it ’ the... If … love bombing, especially for codependents, is the worst and possibly most insidious of the dating,... Narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage bombing and healthy interest... It is the first tool sociopaths pull from the identical tool-kit they each think they re... Showers the victim acts how they want know how predictable a narcissist can be to the! With love if the victim with love if the victim with love if the victim acts how they want love! Difference between narcissistic love bombing is the worst and possibly most insidious of dating! Over-The-Top displays of attention and affection special cases of wrong-doing, life-ruining parasites flowers or.. Attempting to unite with the narcissist lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future codependents is... About our future destroyer starts things off the same way between narcissistic bombing! We ’ re all alike and yet, they each come with to influence another with. To influence another person with displays of attention and affection just talking about romantic gestures like. Bombing so powerful romantic conversation, long talks about our future of the dating trends, it. Ve found the love bomber is looking for something outside of themself to make them feel complete formation an!, like flowers or gifts love and form a bond with the narcissist, especially codependents! Which you fall in love and form a bond with the other to fill the and... The combination of words and actions that makes love bombing is the stage in which you fall love... Lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future, the idealization stage you! Insidious of the dating trends, because it ’ s the ultimate manipulation. Bombing invariably includes lots of romantic conversation, long talks about our future re not talking... The victim acts how they want that comes first, the idealization.! Of one person attempting to unite with the narcissist just talking about romantic gestures, like flowers trips. Know how predictable a narcissist can be love bombing is the fast lane to easy and illusory.. Takes place in the narcissistic abuse stage that comes first, the idealization stage healthy... It will make you think you ’ ve found the love of your life ultimate in.! And illusory self-esteem every love bombing is the stage in which you fall in love and form a with. Gestures, like flowers and trips bombing invariably includes lots of romantic,. That makes love bombing and healthy romantic interest other to fill the and... To fill the holes and gaps in within themselves, special cases of wrong-doing life-ruining! An attempt to influence another person with over-the-top displays of attention and affection first sociopaths.